A Letter from the Executive Director
I’m writing to you with the hope that you’ve had a merry and joyous holiday season. I hope that your cup is full from the festivities, and that you’ve had a happy start to the New Year. But at SafeHouse we know, for people who are active domestic violence situations, the New Year may fall in the aftermath of increased pain, fear, and abuse. Additional togetherness, financial stress, increased alcohol consumption, heightened family tensions, and emotional pressures may create volatile situations that lead to more violence. While call volume to domestic violence hotlines decreases on actual holidays, it tends to surge by about 5% in the days following, according to nationwide data.
If you have a friend or loved one you know or suspect to be in an unhealthy relationship, now may be the perfect time to check in. Read on to learn how you can help, beginning with some indicators of an abusive relationship:
Red Flags for Abuse
- Your friend has grown isolated, only going out with their partner.
- Your friend seems afraid of their partner and seems to need to check in constantly.
- Your friend has unexplained bruises or wears clothes that could cover bruises (for example, long sleeves when it is hot).
- Your friend appears to have limited access to money or transportation.
- Your friend is exhibiting significant changes in personality or mood (for example: uncharacteristic depression or anxiety or changes in self-esteem or willingness to socialize).
- Your friend’s partner is hyper vigilant of your friend, and perhaps speaks for your friend instead of letting your friend speak.
- Your friend’s partner uses abusive language, even if it’s “just a joke”.
- Your friend goes along with everything their partner says and does.
Offering Support
If you suspect your friend or loved one is in an abusive relationship, gently express your concerns. Emphasize that you’re there to help whenever they’re ready. You might say, “I’ve noticed your difficulties with your partner, and I’m here for you.” Resist the urge to pass judgement or criticize your friend’s choices. Remember, victim-survivors have often experienced extreme gaslighting and may doubt or even blame themselves.
If your friend is ready to receive help, you can offer support by providing information. Share about resources such as SafeHouse or other agencies, provide insights on safety planning, and offer to accompany your friend when he or she is seeking help. Be sure to validate your friend’s feelings and ensure that you are a safe person for them to share their concerns. Violence thrives in silence. Your simply being there can make a significant impact in their journey toward safety and healing.
How to Make a Difference
Making a difference in the lives of survivors requires collective efforts. Your support is instrumental in helping SafeHouse provide services to those in need. Consider making a financial contribution. Every donation, no matter the size, significantly aids survivors on their journey toward safety and recovery. Volunteering your time as an advocate for sexual assault and strangulation examinations bolsters our capacity to assist survivors. Finally, advocacy plays a pivotal role too. Spreading awareness in your community, engaging in discussions, and sharing information about domestic violence resources amplifies our collective impact. Your dedication and contributions help survivors find hope, healing, and safety.
Join us in our mission to end domestic violence. Your support is crucial in ensuring that survivors receive the assistance they need during these challenging times. Take action today by contributing your time, resources, or voice to our cause. By standing together, we can create a safer, more compassionate community for everyone.
And as always, if you or someone you know has experienced or is experiencing intimate partner violence, call our crisis line (205) 669-7233. Our trained advocates are available to help 24 hours a day.
Warmly,
Janelle Sierra
Executive Director
SafeHouse
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