Each month I write to you with an issue that is on my heart. In January, I spoke of the challenges survivors of domestic violence face after the holidays. This month I would like to refocus on the multifaceted nature of sexual assault, in particular, the challenges survivors face. The aftermath of sexual assault is often complex and enduring. Survivors may grapple with the misconception that strength means pushing aside their traumatic experiences, only to find waves of guilt and shame resurfacing unexpectedly. Trauma, in its subtle and unpredictable ways, impacts survivors over time. This can be true even when survivors have taken steps such as disclosure, exams, and counseling. My goal is to foster a compassionate dialog surrounding this difficult issue. Sexual assault survivorship: let’s talk about it.
What is Sexual Assault?
Sexual assault encompasses any unwanted sexual activity imposed on an individual without their explicit consent. This can range from unwanted touching to more severe acts such as rape. Many people mistakenly believe that sexual assault is limited to physical force or that offenders are usually strangers. In reality sexual assault can occur within relationships, involving someone known and often close to the survivor. It can be perpetuated by threats and coercion as well as by physical force. It is also a myth that silence or lack of resistance implies agreement to sexual activity. Consent must be clear, voluntary, ongoing, and enthusiastic in order for it to be genuine.
The Nuances of Survivorship
Survivorship after sexual assault is a complex and individual journey. Guilt and shame, unfortunately common for survivors, can resurface unexpectedly, leading to waves of emotional turmoil. The impact of trauma extends beyond the immediate aftermath, affecting long-term mental and emotional wellbeing. Survivors may also find it challenging to pinpoint the source of their emotional reactions, especially if the traumatic event occurred a long time ago. Trauma can linger beneath the surface, manifesting in unexpected ways that do not always align with a survivor’s conscious awareness. It takes compassion, self-awareness, and often the support of mental health professionals or advocates to navigate the emotional complexities that arise from past trauma.
The Impact of Trauma
According to Rebecca Street in her book You Can Help: A Guide for Family & Friends of Survivors of Sexual Abuse and Assault, nearly one-third of rape victims develop rape-related PTSD at some point in their lives. She writes about her own recovery and notes that due to the work she has done on her own healing, many of the worst symptoms of PTSD—the nightmares, the paralyzing fear, the panic when getting startled—no longer happen to her. However, she also writes:
“There are still times when PTSD rears its ugly head and unwanted memories unexpectedly pierce my heart anew, filling me with shame. And when that happens, the act of speaking and being validated remains an important component in lessening the pain. Ironically, even with all my understanding, my embarrassment can often force me into silence. Believe me, I am wearier than anyone with this whole ghastly business. But because I know that I am not to blame, I try to share my symptoms with a trusted friend or seek professional help, knowing such action will help me get better and shorten my pain.”(Chapter 6, PTSD and the Long Haul)
Everyone Is Different
Trauma’s impact can be unpredictable. Survivors may find themselves unexpectedly triggered by various stimuli, even long after the assault. Brian Van Der Kolk, M.D., author of The Body Keeps the Score, says,
‘It is important to remember that trauma isn’t what happens to you, but how you respond to the traumatic situation. Something that is traumatic for one person may be a minor nuisance for another. Whether something becomes traumatic or not has a great deal to do with who’s around you while you experience that event. Were you alone and scared, or were you comforted by friends and family?” (What trauma does to your brain and body – Big Think).
Resources for Survivors
Immediate Aftermath
The resources that will most benefit and/or be accessible to a survivor may depend on when a survivor seeks those services. For example, in the state of Alabama, an assault must have occurred within 72 hours for a survivor to receive a Forensic (SANE) exam. (Note: SafeHouse will conduct exams according to scientific recommendations up to 96 hours after the assault for survivors ages 14-18, if requested by law enforcement, or in the event of extenuating circumstances). SafeHouse offers forensic exams performed by specially trained Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners (SANEs) in a confidential and secure facility. Sometimes clients do not wish to report the assault to law enforcement. SafeHouse will not pressure anyone to report, however we do encourage clients to receive an exam, even anonymously. An exam is, first and foremost, designed to check the physical well-being of the client. Additionally, the evidence collection that happens during an exam will enable the client to have options in the future should their feelings change.
Other resources include:
The Long Haul
Crisis lines are avaliable for survivors at any leg of their journey, and they can be a great first step in attaining other long-term services for healing:
In Closing
Addressing sexual assault involves acknowledging the nuanced nature of survivorship. Understanding the profound impact of trauma, which can manifest unexpectedly, even years after the incident, requires ongoing support. Organizations like SafeHouse provide vital assistance for survivors, empowering them to navigate their healing journey. By recognizing the challenges survivors face and extending empathy, we contribute to a culture that uplifts and supports those affected by sexual assault. It is through collective efforts, understanding, and resilience that we can work towards a world free from the shadows of sexual violence.
Thank you for being a part of this collective effort.
Warmly,
Janelle Sierra
Executive Director
SafeHouse
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