Merry and Bright? Not For Everyone.
The holiday season often conjures images of twinkling lights, cheerful gatherings, and the warmth of family traditions. For many it’s a time of excitement, anticipation, and the joy of creating lasting memories. However, amid this euphoric atmosphere, it is important to recognize that not everyone shares in these sentiments. For survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault, the holiday season may hold a starkly different reality. For survivors the holidays may be marked by distress, triggers, and emotional turmoil. What might be perceived as a season of merriment for some can often be a time of increased stress, anxiety, and challenges for those who are surviving the holidays after domestic violence or sexual assault.
For many survivors, the festivities can serve as potent triggers, evoking memories of past trauma and abusive experiences. The pressure to partake in family gatherings or society expectations often intensifies emotional distress, anxiety, and fear. Additionally financial strains can exacerbate these challenges, with survivors grappling with limited resources. Gift-giving, expenses, and meeting social standards can cause heightened stress. Moreover, the holiday season’s emphasis on family and social connections may paradoxically deepen feelings of isolation. For example, a survivor may have severed ties with abusive family members or lack a supportive network, further increasing their sense of loneliness during this time.
If this describes you this holiday season, here are some things to consider:
Safety planning
If you find yourself navigating the holidays as a survivor of domestic violence, safety planning can provide a sense of control and security. Consider creating a personalized safety plan tailored to your circumstances. Identify safe spaces, trusted contacts, and strategies to exit triggering situations if they arise. Having a safety plan can empower you to prioritize your well-being and navigate potential risks effectively.
Furthermore, if you are actively in a domestic violence situation, your need for a safety plan is crucial. See the SafeHouse page on Safety Planning for tips on keeping yourself safe. Undeniably better would be to call the SafeHouse Crisis Line (205-669-7233) and develop your personalized Safety Plan with a professional.
Self-Care and Building a Support Network
Amidst the holiday bustle, it can be hard to prioritize self-care. But remember, self-care isn’t just engaging in activities that bring you comfort and relaxation, although those practices are valuable. Consider self-care as a multifaceted approach tailored to your needs.
Self-care might involve developing your safety plan, prioritizing your well-being by setting boundaries, and allowing yourself the autonomy to exit situations causing distress. Sometimes self-care means acknowledging your limits and giving yourself permission to step away from gatherings or interactions that feel overwhelming. It could also entail choosing to focus your time and energy on trusted people who provide you with much needed emotional backing and a sense of belonging during challenging times. Connecting with individuals who offer understanding and empathy can serve as a valuable resource. And if you’re struggling to find those people organically, the time might be right to commit to a support group or seek out counseling.
SafeHouse offers free, confidential counseling services to survivors and secondary survivors (loved ones of survivors) of domestic violence and sexual assault. Seeking professional help can often provide the tools and strategies we need to cope with holiday stressors and promote healing in a supportive environment.
Conclusion and Resources
As you are surviving the holidays after domestic violence or sexual assault, know that you are not alone. Your resilience and strength in facing these challenges deserve recognition. Remember, prioritizing your safety, well-being, and emotional health is paramount. You have the power to set boundaries, seek support, and engage in self-care practice that empower you on this journey toward healing.
If you find yourself needing additional support our guidance during this time, here are some local and national resources that can provide assistance:
Safehouse: offers free and confidential counseling services, support groups (call to see if we’re currently active), emergency shelter, advocacy, and resources for individuals who have experienced domestic violence or sexual assault. SafeHouse supports Shelby, Coosa, Clay, and Chilton Counties in Alabama. Call 205-669-7233 (SAFE).
National Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) (TTY: 1-800-787-3224) or visit www.thehotline.org for 24/7 confidential support, crisis intervention, and resources.
RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network): National sexual assault hotline providing confidential support and resources. Call 1-800-656-4673 or visit www.rainn.org.
Love is Respect: Offers support, information, and advocacy to young people affected by dating abuse. Text “LOVEIS” to 22522 or call 1-866-9474 for assistance.
Remember, seeking help is a courageous step towards healing. You have the strength to overcome challenges. Additionally, there are dedicated organizations and individuals ready to support you on your journey toward safety and empowerment. You deserve to feel safe, valued, and supported throughout this holiday season and beyond.
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